7 July, 2021
Hey, you are joking, arent you
IF I can only do one or the other laugh or cry I’ll laugh, but it’s a shame I have to laugh so enthusiastically about the ridiculous things politicians and some bureaucrats say. By Skinhead
Annastacia The Omnipotent leads the charge here. How can we forget the COVID vaccine pantomime involving an “accidental” dog bite, a trip to Japan, and keeping Queenslanders safe? That’s award-winning stuff but how’s this for an absolute cracker. Recently it was revealed that 32 per cent of diabetes patients in 27 Queensland hospitals had been given incorrect treatment. High rates of dangerous medication errors and hospital-acquired harm in diabetes patients had been exposed in an internal probe. Health Minister D’Ath Vader went missing in action but a Queensland Health “spokesman” came out with “The survey re- sults will enable us to continue providing excellent services.”
No, you didn’t misread that. Apparently high rates of dangerous medication errors and hospital-acquired harm, and 32 per cent of patients getting incorrect treatment, is now regarded by QH as “excellent service.”
But for an educated response from a bureaucrat, look no further than the Education Department. Kids at the Valkyrie State School have no permanent drinking water QBuild ships it in, and has been doing so for some time, and a local mining company has been do- nating water so the kids have something to drink.
The official response? Education Minister GraceX2 went missing but a department “spokeswoman” produced a gem. “The department is working on maximising rainwater capture at Valkyrie State School. Three new tanks will be installed at the school during Term Three. The new tanks will be connected to an ultraviolet light filtration system prior to use.”
I only wish she had the wit to add, “If Ingham can have a pub with no beer, Valkyrie can have a school with no water. It will put them on the map. Songs will be written about the ultraviolet light filtra- tion system. Lucky little bastards.”
Environment Minister Enoch Is Enough would be upset if she didn’t make this incomplete list of absurdities, as would local MP Nick Dametto, in relation to the stories about crocodiles in back- yards in the Tully Heads district.
They have been there for more than two years, scaring the locals witless and whipping the authorities into coma-like action. Remember, these crocs are in a residential area. The Minister’s re- sponse? A two-page letter about protecting humans and crocodiles in the wild.
But wait, Dametto put on his Cape Crusader suit and summoned up his most eloquent response: “Authorities are waiting for an audit on crocodile numbers but I understand there has been a significant boom in population. I am of the opinion that once this comes out it may indicate they are no longer a threatened species.”
What was that again? Dashing Dametto is waiting for an audit? For two years? While croc numbers “boom”? And exactly who make up the threatened species — crocs or local residents?
Let’s finish on a high with yet more from ATO. When she an- nounced Dr Jeannette Young as our next Governor she said Saint Jeannette would be “the people’s Governor”. What? As opposed to the animals’ Governor, or the birds’ Governor?
And her decision to promote a public servant as Governor was a “no-brainer”. Using the words public servant and no-brainer in the same sentence is the most accurate comment the Premier has made in years.
Of course I’m not referring to all public servants here — just the BLOOPs (Bureaucrats Living On Other Planets) who finish up in high-paid advisor roles.