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25 July, 2021

Like a red-headed stepchild

by Skinhead RHM (Red Heads Matter) is about to steamroll cities and towns throughout Australia, and the Mackay region won’t be spared. Simmering tensions will intensify and get red hot. We’re up for a blue. If you thought BLM caused a stir, wait until RHM ignites the flame. Even small rural towns will be affected because redheads make up two per cent of the population so any town with at least 50 people is likely to be strongly represented by at least one fiery fraternity member.


Things could get ugly. 

RHM (Red Heads Matter) is about to steamroll cities and towns throughout Australia, and the Mackay region won’t be spared. Simmering tensions will intensify and get red hot. We’re up for a blue. If you thought BLM caused a stir, wait until RHM ignites the flame. Even small rural towns will be affected because redheads make up two per cent of the population so any town with at least 50 people is likely to be strongly represented by at least one fiery fraternity member. 

You see, until now people with red hair — gingers, ginger nuts, carrot tops, Fanta pants, or rangas as they are referred to — have suffered the taunts and humiliation in silence, preferring love to war. I was an overtly proud member of the ranga club until my hair divorced me. Now I’m a paid up member of the Society of Skinheads. My TV cartoon hero, Cartman, founded the Ginger Separatist Movement in South Park about 20 years ago but it took the mushrooming offence industry to build its influence here in Oz, and rangas have finally said enough is enough. Oh please, don’t play innocent with me. Don’t pretend you didn’t know the word “ranga” was derived from Orangutan, and/or from the Latin “Orange Utan” meaning red pubic hair. 

 Everyone knows that. So be honest. Are you a rangaist? Do you identify with rangaism? We are constantly being told “Racism, intolerance and xenophobia must be eradicated”? What about rangaism? I bet you have all heard of International Colour Day, International Purple Day, International Day of Pink, and all the other “days of colour”, but how many of you know (or care) that January 12 is annual Kiss a Ginger Day? Just as I thought, none of you. You all make jokes and mock those of us with fiery red tresses, but have absolutely no knowledge of Kiss A Ginger Day. Drop the pretence. You knew the term “ginger” originated in the UK and was initially creat-ed to insult a redhead. Because I’m half Scot, an uncouth friend of mine used to call me Celtic Pelt. 

When I men-tioned Kiss A Ginger Day he burst out laughing. “What? Kiss a ginger?” he exclaimed. “My old man used to threaten me with a good kick up the ginger if I didn’t behave.” Then he told the old public service joke: “He sat on his ginger all day, doing nothing, but he did nothing so well he got promoted.” 

That sort of comment makes me reminisce about the “good old days” when people had fun with our language. Ginger was an abbreviation of ginger ale, and became rhyming slang for “tail”. It was first recorded in 1955 in J. Morrison’s book Black Cargo: “Stone the crows! I’m sitting here with fifty thousand bags of flour under my ginger.”

 Of course freckles go hand-in-hand with red hair so that word too is often used to refer to the rear end of the anatomy. Way back in the 70s comedian Barry Humphries said, “I too believed that the sun shone out of Gough’s freckle.” 

On second thoughts, maybe I won’t start working in the offence industry. I think I’m actually proud of being a Skinhead with a Celtic pelt. 


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